Make it Personal

The Importance of Friendship and Community: My Thoughts

In times of distress, pain, and hardship, we can sometimes choose the path of isolation and solitude. WHY?!

God made us for community. Think about the countless times you have helped others. Why don’t you think people want the chance to help you? I think we forget that we don’t have to tell anyone the full story, sometimes we can just say “Hey, I’m having a really tough day.”

Now I’m not saying to make your friends your very own personal counselor. I am advocating for a healthy, balanced relationship where you trust another person enough to let them know you are having a bad day and maybe even why.

They don’t have to fix anything, but it is nice to know that someone has heard you and cares about you.

Don’t soak in your problems: this isn’t a spa

Sometimes when we slip into isolation, it becomes impossible to come back into the real world. We begin to only focus on the bad, the negative, and the painful parts of our lives.

I believe it is important to think about what you are going through and to process it. HOWEVER, I don’t think we have to soak in it. You processed it, now it’s time to move on.

My friends tell me that I’m very cut and dry when it comes to leaving bad situations behind me. But I have become this way because life is hard, there is no reason to hold onto the bad.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t just magically forget my trauma (I have my fair share), but I actively choose to not let it rule my life.

Things to do, places to be, people to love

What I do when I can’t get a bad situation off my mind: I recommend doing something alone AND with a friend.


  • Take a ride on the subway.
  • Sit in a park with or without music.
  • Lay down in your apartment and listen to calming music.
  • Cook for someone else or make them a care package.
  • Go on a walk. I’ve taken an eight-mile-long walk/run around NYC and Brooklyn before when the stress was just too much to handle. I felt so much better after.
  • Go on the Ferry.
  • Go see a movie.

With Friends:

  • Adventure
  • Go on the Ferry.
  • Central Park picnic
  • Dance in Battery Park – Yes, I said it. Dance in the middle of the park while listening to music with a friend.
  • Grab a tub of ice cream and talk through the night.
  • Watch some TV – especially movies or shows that are so bad they become funny
  • Baking
  • Volunteer – Get your mind off of yourself and focus on helping other people. I have noticed that when I get self-absorbed in my own problems, I start to just get selfish. It’s not all about us, God bless. In our weakness we are strong… Sometimes we can help others the most from our state of weakness.

I hope that you know that you are loved, and your friends and community want to be there for you. You are seen and you are appreciated.

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